User talk:24.189.193.11
Welcome Hi, welcome to ! Thanks for your edit to the User blog:Cdc1998/I got some questions for you all page. ' '. It's an easy way to keep track of your contributions and helps you communicate with the rest of the community, and allows you to create so much more! Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! SirLinkalot96 (talk) 21:57, July 15, 2013 (UTC) Alright. Zak, I know you think I'm an "asshole" and whatever, but seriously. You need to CALM THE HELL DOWN. Bringing up feminism was a shitty thing to do on Michael's and my behalf. And I would like to apologize for offending you and Prof. I don't really know what else I could say. Let's just drop the whole thing. ALL OF US. I'm deleting that comment thread. It's gonna attract too much bad attention to the wiki if they see you calling me an "asshole" and Michael and I saying what we said. And, I have social dyslexia and was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome for most of my life. I say stuff that I don't understand will come off as offensive to people. Well, I bet you're gonna make some comment saying that it's an "excuse" for me to act like an "asshole", but it's the truth. I'm not saying it excuses what I said, but I didn't understand how much people will get offended. Once again, I'm sorry. I don't expect you to forgive me, but I just want you to know that I'm sorry. Tell Prof I said the sorry, cuz I have to go to work. Don't have time to type a message. Talk to you later. SirLinkalot96 (talk) 21:08, August 8, 2013 (UTC) You are now speaking to "Mikaela" Zak, can you please explain to me how I was being selfish? Sorry??? "Sorry" for what? I really don't like it when people say that. 1. The term "sorry" is often misused. No, you are NOT full of sorrow for what I did. This is not a funeral service. You shouldn't be crying for what I've done. 2. Do not feel sympathetic for me. Please, just don't. It's criticism, and I need to take it'' seriously. I'm going to be a young woman next year, and it's time for me to toughen up now and prepare for the future ahead of me. KrasnoiZvezdy 22:33, August 16, 2013 (UTC) DON'T even. . . Pretty immature of me as an administrator, but I'm sorry. I can't control myself. DON'T you FUCKING push me, Zachary! I swear to God. How DARE you?! I hate for it to come to this and freak out, I really do. But, uh, I REALLY don't need you giving me shit on top of everything else I've got. But, did you even know him? You don't know who the fuck he is, and you didn't know him for as long as I have, or even at all. What I'm saying isn't shitty, it's the feeling of someone who lost someone to suicide. May seem harsh, but you aren't in this situation, so don't tell me how I should think or feel. And I don't believe you're sorry. I believe that you just want to give me more shit because of what happened on that blog, which I regret doing and saying, by the way, but you won't have any of it. Twisting the knife in a little more. Don't say otherwise, because I know that's what you're doing. I'm a fucking mess right now, but I'm not an idiot. I know he was hopeless, but taking your own life instead of coming to anyone for help (he had PLENTY of people to go to, including myself, who wouldn't have judged him at all, and none of his family or friends would either) is something I think is wrong. I don't know if you've ever dealt with losing someone to suicide, but here's how it feels: The first stage is denial. "No, he can't be gone. That's just not possible. He would NEVER shoot himself!" You can't believe they're gone, and especially the way he went out is just shocking and ironic, and I'll tell you why in a second. The second stage is anger, which I'm guessing is the current stage I'm in. "Why would he do this? Why would he leave his family, friends, girlfriend, and me? How could he do such a thing?" You don't want it to be true, and you can't believe that they would do something like this. Plus, I'm more angry at myself. You know why? I'll tell ya. It's pretty ironic. He talked me out of suicide. Several times, in fact. You know what he told me? He said, "Don't kill yourself, it's not worth it and it's just taking the coward's way out." THAT'S why I'm so fucking mad, because he said this maybe 6 months ago to me when everything in my life was just going so wrong, and I felt that there was no way out, and I just wanted to die more than anything. He was such a good friend to me and I don't know how I would've ended up without his words. But for him to go back on his own advice that saved my life in order to take his own is what's so hurtful. And what is going to haunt me for the rest of my life is that I didn't do the same for him, you know. Save his life. He never told me, and he was away at college. Maybe I coulda talked to him and asked him how he was doing, but I didn't. I failed him, Zak, and I have to live with that. I didn't want to have to reveal this at all, but I have no choice, since you'll just argue with me, and call me out without even THINKING about how I must feel right now, considering that I have to deal with the fact that a friend of mine SHOT HIMSELF IN THE HEAD. Hell, I betcha'll you'll do that ANYWAY. He had his reasons, and I'll probably calm down in time, but it's a recent loss. I'm allowed to feel however I can feel. The third stage is grief and sadness. "I miss him so fucking much. I wish he didn't go. If only I could just talk to you for five more minutes, I could say goodbye." That's probably how I'm going to feel within the next few weeks, and I hope so, because I don't want to be mad at him, but it's just so hard, you have no idea. Call me "ignorant". Call me "insensitive" Call me an "asshole" Call me whatever. But let me tell you something: You don't know me. You don't know a THING about me. And I don't know a thing about you, minus what you've revealed about yourself on here within the last couple years, so I have no right to judge you, just as much as you have no right to judge me. But, you judged me, and I guess that kind of thing doesn't mean too much to you, now does it? So, let's both leave it at that. I've said what I wanted to say. If you REALLY want to fucking twist the knife in a little more, then keep at it. I really don't want to do this right now. But you caught me at a bad, BAD time. THAT'S "not cool". SirLinkalot96 (talk) 00:34, August 17, 2013 (UTC) About the Two Messages Above My message to you: I apologize for getting defensive with you. It seems that there was a mix up between us. Second of all, show Link some respect, please. What he said above is true and it's normal for someone who is grieving the loss of loved-one to feel like this. Perhaps you should read a few articles on '''depression '''and '''loss' to help you understand this situation better. I recommend you look into it. It is apparent that you have no idea what you're talking about. KrasnoiZvezdy 01:03, August 17, 2013 (UTC) Here are some links for you: Coping with Grief and Loss Grief: Loss of a Loved-One KrasnoiZvezdy 01:21, August 17, 2013 (UTC) Just a friendly message Hello Zak. :) Mikaela I know it's done, but I gotta say. . . Wow. I'm actually surprised that you haven't even said anything back to me. Now that I've mostly calmed down, I thought I'd address this with a clear head, and hopefully you'll understand the nature and point of my previous message to you. The reason I'm surprised is because you're usually so quick to get defensive and always back your arguments up with solid points. I'm just genuinely shocked that you haven't yelled at me or anything, which you normally would do. To tell you the truth, I'm stunned. Also, one more thing: I was leaving PRG a message a couple days ago, and I saw that message you left on her talk page. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at you for saying that you know exactly ''what you're talking about, and I just wanna give you my thoughts on that. If you REALLY know EXACTLY what you're talking about, then you wouldn't have said a God damn thing to me, especially in the manner and the timing in which it was said. That was indescribably disrespectful to me, and to anyone else who has had to deal with this sort of thing. Think what I said was "pretty shitty"? Look at the message that you left me. A wee bit hypocritical on your part, doncha think? If you REALLY HAD to say something to me, especially, ESPECIALLY about my friend, then you should have handled it in a VERY DELICATE manner. Who knows? Maybe you do know what it's like to feel losing someone to suicide or feeling emotionally unstable and depressed, but looking at that message, you sure as hell don't act like it. If you did know EXACTLY what you're talking about, then you would have been more understanding and kind to me. Yeah, I know doing something like that is TOTALLY out of character for you, so I took it upon myself to write an example of what you should have said to me: "Hey, Link. I know that you're very hurt and grieving over your friend's tragic death, and you have every right to deal with pain in your own way, but you shouldn't think that he's selfish. He cared about you, but he probably had a lot of pain inside his heart, and he couldn't cope with all of it. His suicide had nothing to do with you and it wasn't your fault." THAT'S the polite, delicate, and respectful way to put it, buddy boy. If you tried saying what you said to a person dealing with what I'm dealing with, to their face, you'd get your fucking teeth kicked in, especially where I'm from (probably even worse, considering what I've seen and heard about happening over a verbal dispute). Hell, if you said that to me in person, especially a freaking WEEK AFTER MY FRIEND SHOT HIMSELF, that's probably what would happen. "Timing" is the key word here: TIMING. You sent me that message a week after my friend died, and I saw red. I couldn't BELIEVE you could be so inconsiderate and insensitive to SAY such a thing in the manner that you did, and then you put the whole "I'm sorry for your loss but. . ." and went right back to attack mode. You didn't even bother to use correct spelling or grammar in some parts of the message, just showing me how little you care about what I'm dealing with. Maybe it's just me that you make an exception for saying something like that. You may as well have just thrown in, "no offense" at the end. Just two cheap ass words to tape on to the end of an insult, hoping that the person you're addressing won't be offended by what you're saying. I may seem like I'm more chilled out now, but I was just bawling my fucking eyes out not even fifteen minutes ago about him. And when I told you to stop it during that argument, I was bawling my eyes out hysterically there, too. So, there ya go. Happy now? For the 1000th time, I AM REALLY, REALLY, 'REALLY' SORRY FOR WHAT I SAID ON THAT BLOG POST! Seriously, I am! It was ignorant and really stupid; I regret it 100%, and I learned my lesson the hard way. But come on, I mean what else am I supposed to say? I admitted several times that I was wrong for what I said, I acknowledge that I was being an inconsiderate jackass when I said that, and I apologized like 50 times for it. I mean, what else CAN I say? What the hell do you want from me?? You seem like an intelligent guy, and when you always criticize something or back up what you said in arguments, you ALWAYS have solid points to back yourself up. What you said to me didn't have any points to back yourself up, wasn't really apologetic or apathetic at all, and just seemed more like a personal attack rather than an intelligent debate or argument which you're usually at the forefront of, even though you can sometimes get carried away with those, as well. I honestly feel like you said it to me in that manner because you felt like attacking me some more over what happened over that blog post argument. I mean, really. Get over it. Maybe I deserve to not be forgiven, but come on. Get over it, Zak. What I said about feminism may have offended you, but when you said that garbage to me, you crossed the damn line. That ''surpassed the offensive nature of what I said, man. Use the argument on that blog post as an example: THINK before you type, and think REALLY HARD about what you are typing. And ESPECIALLY consider who you are typing it TO, and also consider how THEY might feel about what you are gonna say. Any other administrator would have banned you on the spot for getting deeply personal (An understatment, because you went BEYOND personal.) like that, especially over something as tragic and horrible as fucking SUICIDE, and the TIMING and MANNER in which it was said. I know it seems like I keep going back to your timing and manner in this message, but it REALLY is THAT big of a part of why I got so god damn heated and just so you know that what you said was SO BAD and SO HURTFUL. The only reason that stopped me from blocking you is because I felt REALLY bad about being an asshole during that argument and I knew that I'd look like an even BIGGER asshole if I blocked you, especially a couple days after that argument took place. Plus, Hua probably would have unblocked you and ripped me a new one for doing so. Just like when you called Michael an "asshole" a while back just because he was doing his job as an administrator by blocking an IP that was vandalizing pages. Then when he blocked you for calling him that, Hua unblocked you and scolded Michael. Those are the ONLY reasons why. See that? I considered the TIMING and what would HAPPEN if I blocked you, more than what YOU ever considered, Zachary. Normally, a person in my situation would be expecting an apology, but you're too damn stubborn, uptight, and cowardly to EVER apologize, let alone reply to me instead of ignoring me like a sackless little bitch. Not that it would matter much anyway, seeing as how little you value apologies, so why should I value yours? SirLinkalot96 (talk) 03:29, August 29, 2013 (UTC) I'll just start on a new topic to get away from what was said above ^ So how are you? I know we have been off to a very bad start, and I was what? Mmm, about 13, or 14? It was so long ago just remembering how we met. It has been nearly 4 years now, and it's time that I change my opinions about you. I've been thinking, perhaps we can become friends? Yes, I know that I am coming off as cheesey to you in this message, and it will annoy you greatly just to talk to you. I just want to be nicer to people. Mikaela Hm. And YOU need to learn to watch your mouth when you speak to an administrator. That's what you need to do. And another suggestion: Removing a message/edit you wrote on someone's talk page (me) is strictly against the rules. So, I'm blocking you for a week. Why a week, you might ask? Removing your message/edit on my talk page, in clear violation of the rules, and because of that horrible thing you said to me a while ago. I've been waiting for you to screw up ever since. Next time, grow a pair and leave the message for me to see instead of trying to hide it and pretend it never happened like a coward. "Just a suggestion". SirLinkalot96 (talk) 15:37, October 30, 2013 (UTC) You know what? I'm unblocking you. Since I didn't see that you meant to leave that message on Scarly's talk page rather than mine. I apologize for my rash actions, and for being unfair. However, it is unfair that you haven't even talked to me about what you said. I would like a sincere apology from you for what you said to me a couple months ago, since you've just been avoiding me about it. SirLinkalot96 (talk) 15:41, October 30, 2013 (UTC) In reply to your message I do form my own opinions of people. I prize myself on that, that I'm a good reader of people. Able to tell if they are fake or genuinely nice person. Your message on my talk page however, doesn't show you in a different light to what people are casting you in. ☆ Angel ☆ Of Destiny ☆ 16:30, November 3, 2013 (UTC)